Sam Rogers Scribbles

You know the Fergie song Big Girls Don’t Cry? (If you don’t, hit YouTube ASAP.) My favourite line from the song is “I need some shelter of my own protection, baby. To be with myself and centre, clarity, peace, serenity”. It captures a lot of what I aspire to, but all too often forget to actually do!  Whenever I’m walking about in my daily life and get stung with some sort of crazy huge feeling out of the blue, (which is to say, about a thousand times a day) I often go straight to my phone or the person I’m with and start blurting out all this emotion. Which rarely ever gets the perfect reaction, as they are struck with the energy of the emotion I am projecting. We aren't able to effectively communicate through the fizzling flames of feeling, and therefore the other person is often unable to pick up on what we are actually asking for from them. What a pickle.  My partner and I struggle with this to no end. When I ring him and launch into a rant, he doesn’t hear ...

“Which is the greater ecstasy? The man’s or the woman’s? And are they not perhaps the same?” Almost all of us are socialised male or female. On the whole, the female is conditioned as irrational, caring and emotional but without much practical ability. She is encouraged to compromise herself for others and potentially act passively or passive aggressively. Any anger not fully processed and felt by the female, is still there and is likely to seep out in unhealthy behaviour – shame, mockery, punishments. The male, conversely, is conditioned to communicate his feelings much less. He still has the same maddening depth of feeling, but perhaps struggles to demonstrate this. This may lead to destructive or self-destructive actions, as with the woman. What is overwhelmingly clear is that people are not raised to communicate through these enforced gender stereotypes, and we are brainwashed to respect them as though they are real and entrenched. As it happens, they are arbitrary and divisiv...